


I want to be awful with you not him

by Furuba_Fangirl



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Dadsona is naive don't judge him too harshly, Fluff, I just want Robert and Dadsona to be happy, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealousy, Joseph's 3rd Date, M/M, POV Second Person, Pier Confrontation, Pining, Reconciliation, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-07 22:45:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12242094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Furuba_Fangirl/pseuds/Furuba_Fangirl
Summary: You always warned Amanda never to do anything that seemed bad even if it was with good intentions. Maybe you should have taken your own advice…____Dadsona has second thoughts about choosing Joseph after Robert warns him





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back (literally after only a few days)! This fic is inspired by a YouTube comment saying they wish they could reconsider their decision with Joseph after Robert confronts you. Honestly wish you could too so I had to scratch that itch by writing about it. Enjoy the ensuing drama ;)

You stand at the marina and your head is completely spinning. You’re not sure if it’s because of the fact that you saw Robert again or if it’s because of the things he said to you. _“You’re both awful. You deserve each other._ ” It wasn’t just what he said…it was the tone of his voice… It stung you and you don’t know why… Who are you kidding, you know exactly why? Because you had grown to care for him and you thought, maybe stupidly, he cared about you too. Your adventures with him were interesting, to say the least, but they were so much fun. Getting drunk off of whiskey and white zinfandel and sneaking into a movie theater like you were a teenager was the most fun you had in a very long time. He took you out of your comfort zone, even when you didn’t want to.

You chuckle as you remember how riled up he got when you refused to eat Hawaiian pizza. _“I respect your decision. And I will fight with my life for your right to say it. But where’s your sense of adventure? Where’s your sense of taste? Why don’t you love yourself? The juiciness of the pineapple paired with the tanginess of the sauce is a flavor combination that everyone should experience, at least once if not a thousand times more. Pineapple on pizza is one of the few things in life that I genuinely and thoroughly enjoy. Please. Please just do this for me. No— do this for yourself.”_   While you whole-heartedly hated the blasphemous amalgamation of fruit and pizza, the way he defended it was so adorable that you put your disdain aside and bit the pizza bullet. To your dismay (and almost horror) it wasn’t as bad as you remembered it to be.

Everything about being with him was enjoyable, but aside from that, you got to see a side of him that you’re sure not a lot of people have seen. Who would have thought Robert “Badass” Small would be into whittling and believed in cryptids? You trace the small scar on your thumb that formed after your wound healed and you can’t help but smile. The way he mended it was so tender, your heart swells just thinking about it. The smile quickly sours into a frown because now you realize you were being foolish… He had opened up to you (as best as he could you guess) and you naively thought that meant you had made a connection with him. It was lovely to get a glimpse of that vulnerable side of him… Now you see it was probably the only time you’d get to ever see it. After that, he just seemed so…distant. You tried to reach out to him but, as Amanda would put it, he “left you on read.” For the first couple of weeks, you were hoping he would reach out but then you figured that it just wasn’t going to happen…

I guess that’s why you’re here looking for Joseph in the first place. You decided to finally take him up on his offer to hang out and you’re not gonna lie, it wasn’t half bad. It was nice to be able to talk to someone who hadn’t walled off their emotions. Granted the times you hang out were mostly for church-related events, yet you still felt comfortable around him. Part of you also wanted to help him out too… He puts on a smile for his kids and the community but you know that his marriage with Mary is wearing him down. It’s not that you think Mary is at fault completely, but while she has her own method of dealing with things, Joseph really doesn’t have anyone to help him out. You figured that you could be that person to him. A _friend_ and just that, even if Mary and Robert didn’t believe you. While you do think Joseph is sweet and charming… he’s not Robert and… part of you is angry that he hadn’t realized that…

As you go further into the marina, you are greeted by a cheerful voice. “Hey! Up here!” Joseph calls out. You look towards the yacht and are happy to see a friendly face waiting for you.

It takes you awhile to get adjusted to the swaying of the yacht and to the idea of an almost endless pit of emptiness filled with wildlife that can potentially kill you… Oh, boy, what did you get yourself into? You try to push the mild thalassophobia out of your mind to enjoy being there in good company. You try your best to keep things light with Joseph and while you are having a riveting conversation about your mistrust of whales you can’t help but feel Robert’s words weighing on you. It’s almost as if he’s there with you two on the yacht watching disapprovingly.

“Everything alright?” Joseph asks, tweaking an eyebrow in curiosity. And here you thought that you were being subtle with your worry.

“Um, yeah it’s just… I ran into Robert,” you answer honestly.

You see his shoulders tense up. “Was he… he wasn’t waiting for you at the dock, was he?” There is an audible nervousness in his voice.

“Yes, and smoking like a chimney.” Not that you minded his smoking. If anything you found it sexy… The way his calloused hands lifted the cigarette to his lips that bore a scowl was absolutely alluring. You couldn’t believe how fast your heart was racing and how your voice literally hitched when you heard him call your name. You felt as if you had run into your crush at school but… the expression in his eyes made that illusion come crashing down.

“That’s Robert, alright,” he says with a forced laugh.

“Is everything okay between you two? He seemed…angry.” Angry was putting it lightly. There was so much emotion there that you really couldn’t pinpoint the right one. Anger? Disgust? Disappointment? Jealousy? A mixture of everything? You’re not too sure so angry is what you’ll go with.

“It’s…hm. How do I put this…? Did Robert ever proposition you for… erm, escapades?”

“ _So are we doing this, or what?”_ rings in your head. “Actually, he did…” you respond.

“And did you take him up on that?”

I mean, sure, you were tempted by his offer. Especially seeing him under the dim streetlights…the shadows perfectly casted to emphasize his chiseled features… He was so captivating yet you couldn’t bring yourself to go inside. People have one night stands all the time so it wouldn’t have been the end of the world if you _had_. But something felt…wrong about it… You felt it when he asked. His voice was low and full of seduction like he had practiced asking that question to so many others, but there was something else too. A plea almost underlying that question… A sort of imploration not to accept… and so you didn’t. He didn’t even seem all that disappointed… He even seemed relieved… “No.”

“Ah, well… That is where we differ,” he mumbles.

Your eyes widen at the revelation. “Whaaat?!” you exclaim. Joseph… and Robert… You reel at the thought and all these questions start to form. When? Why? Does Mary know? How is she still friends with Robert if she does know? How can they all act so normally around each other?

“I know, I know. Father of four. Family Man. Married for Christsakes. I should have never even… but I was in a bad place, and with Mary constantly out I …” he rambles with shame. “I made a hasty decision. One which Robert does not exactly…ah… he has a weird thing about casual…um...”

“But he asked you?”

“You’d have to ask Robert about the weird Robert politics of… that. He’s been weird about it ever since,” Joseph concludes.

“Huh. But it’s over right…?”  

“Oh, yes, absolutely. That began and ended on the same day.”

You take in what was just thrown at you like a bucket of cold water. Joseph’s story makes sense on paper at least, but…that still doesn’t explain Robert’s torrent of emotions. Robert being “weird about it” is definitely not the adequate description of your encounter with him. It seemed so much more personal to him. A deeper cut than simply a one night stand could have left behind. Even if your mind is filled with more questions you decide it’s best not to push the matter with Joseph anymore. “Well…okay then,” you state.

“So you’re not…upset?” he inquires cautiously.

“I’m not.” Why should you be? Joseph’s is just a friend who made a mistake. You’ll never understand what it’s like to be in a dysfunctional marriage, so you have no right to judge. “Things happen Joseph. And you of all people deserve a little forgiveness.”

“Thank you. That means more than you’ll ever know,” he says with an earnest smile. You see his body finally relax.

As you guys go in farther, the whole situation with Robert is stowed away in the back burner of your head. You came to relax and that’s what you’re going to do. Well, at least you thought you were going to do…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be a pretty short fic compared to my last one. Yes, yes I know it's another Dadsona/Robert fic. I'll admit I have a problem. However I am planning out a Alex/Dadsona fic soon but I wanted to get this one out of the way first.


	2. Chapter 2

All of sudden you hear a sputtering noise come from below deck. “Oh, Kirk Douglas!” Joseph yells. You have learned by now that that is Joseph’s form of swearing, so that confirms that sound was not good. You see him looking at the control panel of the yacht. “Oh. Okay. So. We might have a small problem,” he explains calmly.

“What small problem?”

“We are out of gas,” he replies.

 _Small problem?_ “The whales are gonna get us. The whales siphoned our gas!” Humor was always your coping mechanism under stress.

He reassures you that he can call someone…until you both realize there’s no service. Okay, calm down. You just gotta go with plan B, which is fixing the old radio as Joseph suggests… You have no clue of how to fix a radio. Guess you’ll just have to MacGyver this shit.

You look at whatever there is lying around gum, wires, a rubber ducky (probably one of the kids’) and a…condom… Welp, you’re sure as hell not going to be using it so you toss it in anyways. Once you finish tossing random things inside, you power it up and it starts to buzz and crackle slightly.

“Hey! It works…kinda.” Joseph pats you on the back but you notice that towards the end it turns to more of an… affectionate rub. You try to pass it off as nothing though.

Joseph tries the impromptu radio but isn’t having much luck since it’s older than my dad. Maybe, Robert cursed you? He does believe in the Dover Ghost, so you think he is capable of tracking down a witch to enact his revenge upon you. You can’t help but giggle at the thought that isn’t too far from plausible. Thankfully Joseph is too preoccupied to notice you.

“So, what now?” you wonder.

“There's worse places to be stuck on than a yacht. Wine?”

You would appreciate the alcohol right now. “Wine,” you confirm.

“I keep a couple emergency bottles below deck. Wanna go grab some while I fiddle with the radio some more?”

You nod and start heading downstairs. You are in awe by the fully decked out room. Man, it might even be nicer than your own room. You would want to live here if you could. Actually…it looks like someone’s been living here as you examine the lounge and notice clothes and an unmade bed. Is Joseph…? You dismiss the thought, knowing you shouldn’t be meddling in his affairs.

You go back to search for the wine in the cabinet and voila there it is. Wine in a cabinet, who would’ve thought? As you’re about to head back up on deck, you catch something from the corner of your eye. On the shelf, you see a collection of photos among other little trinkets. You decide to kill some time to take a look at them. It’s cool seeing both Joseph and Mary look so young and…happy. You assume that it was taken before all there problems started. Woah! Everybody from the cul-de-sac is in this picture. Maybe one day you’ll get to be in a picture with everyone.

Your eyes scan the picture and they fall onto the image of Robert. It must have been taken a few years back because he had fewer greys in his dark brown hair and his eyes didn’t have such profound dark circles. He’s even smiling… A rare site you wish you could see in real life again instead of through the glass of a picture frame. You feel a forlorn sigh escape your lips. “Blue is a good color on you,” you whisper as you examine the sweater he’s wearing. Funny, it kinda looks like… Joseph’s… The one he has wrapped around his shoulders right now… Why would he be wearing…?

_“Joseph’s not who you think he is.”_

_“That began and ended on the same day.”_

_“…watch your back when you do. Because a guy like that’ll put a knife right in it.”_

All the pieces start sticking together to form a bigger picture and your suspicions are confirmed… Whatever Joseph and Robert had was more than a one-night stand. Something that Joseph tried to downplay as a simple lapse in judgment but was something more meaningful. Especially enough to have Robert feel the need to warn you… To spare you from a betrayal that he felt.

You feel dizzy and you can’t control the shaking of your legs. You slide down onto the floor, your head is swimming. How did you get caught up in this? Why are you even here? That’s the big question you think… Despite everyone’s warning, you are here and…it’s all so wrong. Have you been really that naïve? Have you honestly, not realized how bad this looks? You’re on a yacht about to drink wine with a married man; a married man who has already been unfaithful to his wife and you honestly believe that it doesn’t look like you’re doing the same thing.

You always warned Amanda never to do anything that seemed bad even if it was with good intentions. Maybe you should have taken your own advice…

You can hear Mary sigh, _“I feel sorry for both of us…”_ It finally dawns on you… You’re not the first to have landed themselves here. Robert… and who knows who else have ended up in this exact same spot as you… It makes you feel sick to your stomach.

“Did you find the wine?” you hear Joseph holler. You can’t help but cringe now.

“Yeah! I’ll be right up,” you yell back. You wonder what your chances of surviving are if you jump ship right now… Not very high.

You lift yourself up, your legs still feeling like gelatin, and with cold sweat lining your forehead. You compose yourself as best you can and go up with the bottle at hand.

You see Joseph still trying with the radio. “Um, were… were you able to reach someone.” You hope he says yes because you don’t want to be on this boat a second longer.

“Not, yet. Hopefully, the wine will hold us off until someone does…?” He turns around and sees you. “Oh Cracker Barrel, you don’t look so good!”

You don’t feel it either. “Yeah… I think… I think I’m getting seasick. Haven’t gotten my sea legs yet,” I mutter.

“Come sit down,” he gestures to one of the reclinable seats and takes the bottle from you. You reluctantly sit because you feel the stomach acid working its way up your esophagus.

“I think it’s best if we hold off on the wine for now,” you request, trying to suppress a gag.

He nods in agreement. “Do you need anything?”

“I just need to rest a bit… Maybe just keep trying the radio, so we can head home.”

“Of course,” he replies. You spot the corner of his lips twitch in annoyance.

You rest your eyes as you try to tune out Joseph and the static of dead air on the other side of the radio. You are about to drift off to sleep when you hear a distorted crackle. You jolt up.

“Hello, is anyone there?” Joseph asks.

“Yep…we hear…ya,” a broken voice replies through the speaker. Thank God.

“Yes, we ran out of gas and we request to be towed back to land. Over.”

“Got… it… Can do… Will probably arrive…in an hour…Over.” Dammit. One more hour to go.

“Thank you for the help. Over.” He puts the receiver down and comes to sit down at the edge of your seat. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you remark dully.

“I’m sorry, this turned out to be such a disaster. I really wanted us to have a good time together.”

You’re sure he did. “It’s okay, Joseph. It was fun while it lasted.” Yet another illusion was torn down. You could no longer see Joseph as the vulnerable friend that needed comfort or the sweet minister that was driven to infidelity because of his loveless marriage. He was just the man, who didn’t have the guts to leave his wife so he resorted to short-lived affairs. Affairs like the one he was attempting with you but you were too stupid to see what was in front of you.

Before you know it, Joseph is leaning closer to you. “I wish we could make this moment last a little longer. You know… Mary and I we’ve been going through a tough time right now and we finally came to the conclusion that it was best to end it…”

You sit up slightly on the chair. You can’t believe what is coming out of his mouth… At this point, you’re not sure what the truth is.

He puts his hand on your thigh and you shudder at the sheer uncomfortableness. “It’s for the best, but I wanted to know… If you wanted to be the next chapter in my life… I feel so close to you in a way I haven’t felt before about anyone.” He has a smile on his face, but the words sound like he’s making a sales pitch. Joseph leans in, trying to kiss you but you turn your face away and put a hand on his chest to stop him.

“Joseph, no! This isn’t what I want!” you protest.

He looks stunned at your remark and pulls away from you, thankfully. “But I thought… Didn’t you feel something between us?”

“Joseph… I’m sorry to hear about you and Mary but I can’t be your rebound. I was glad to be a friend that you could talk to but… I don’t feel that way about you.”

His face is a mixture of confusion and disappointment as if this is the first time this has happened before. He gets up from the seat. “I see,” he murmurs. You two wait in awkward silence until help arrives.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time that the coast guard comes, the sun has already set. You’re grateful that you had driven to the dock yourself. You don’t think you could have bared a car ride home with Joseph after the hour-long wait in the yacht. He still walks you to your car out of common courtesy anyways. “Bye, Joseph. Um… See ya around.” Hopefully not alone again though.

“See you… And… I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It wasn’t my intention.”

“Maybe not but it just… wasn’t meant to be that way…” You step inside the car and give one last wave goodbye. As you drive back home, you should be more relaxed in the confine of your car but you’re not. You’re head hurts and you’re gripping the steering wheel tighter than you normally do. Man, why didn’t you sneak a sip of that wine? You are tempted to make a stop at Jim and Kim’s, however you run the risk of running into Robert or Mary or, God, both of them. You might not have done anything wrong but…it’s not like they would believe you anyway. Plus you really don’t want to explain to either of them that nothing happened, at least not today. So you opt to skip out on a well-deserved drink and continue your drive to the cul-de-sac.

As you get out of the car, you notice that Robert’s truck isn’t parked in his driveway. Maybe he’s at his thinking spot, you wonder. At least you don’t have to worry about him seeing you come back. You let yourself into the house and see that Amanda is sitting on the couch with an entire bucket of ice cream.

“You know cookie dough ice cream does not make a balanced dinner, right?” you chime as she is mid-bite of her next spoon full.

She turns to you, surprised that she was caught in the act. She shrugs and shoves the ice cream into her mouth. “This is what happens when you leave your child alone to go have fun on a yacht,” she jokingly reprimands with her mouth full. “I hope you’re happy father. You drove me to this.”

You finally crack a smile after the long day you had. “I’m sorry, Manda. To rectify my mistake, I have no choice but to join you on your impending downward spiral of poor health choices.”

“Hell yeah!” she cheers.

You grab a spoon from the kitchen and plop down next to her as you dig into the sugariness. “What you watching?”

“New show. Chopped: Naked and Afraid Edition.”

 _“Why would you put bacon in the basket?!”_ yells one of the contestants. _“Do you realize how much that’s going to hurt?!”_ You’re sure that was the whole point.

As the popping and sizzling sound of bacon grease (mixed with cries) transitions into one of those loud infomercials you hate, Amanda turns to you. “So Dadtron, how was yachting with Joseph? Was it fun?”  

You choke a little on your ice cream. You were hoping she didn’t ask but your daughter has always been concerned about your social life so you’re not all that surprised. “Um… it is was fine. Hit a bit of a hiccup when we ran out of gas, so we decided to cut the trip short. Had to have the coast guard come get us.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that Dad. Well, you guys can always try another time,” she suggests.

“Yeah… I don’t think that would be such a good idea…” you admit nervously.

She raises and an eyebrow. “Why, not? I thought you two got along great.”

“We did it’s…just…” How do you explain to your daughter that you were almost dragged into an extramarital affair? You pat her knee and sigh, “He wanted something more that I couldn’t give him. I made the right choice, but… he wasn’t too happy about it.”

“O-oh.” She realizes what you’re insinuating. She punches you lightly on the arm and smirks, “I’m glad your moral foundation is still intact, Dad.”

You laugh and you wrap your arm around her shoulder. “I’m glad too.”

“Well aside from the fact that he was married, Joseph was cool but sooo not your type,” she claims.

“Oh, really? And what is my type, according to you?”

“Gee, I don’t know. Tall, dark and handsome with an affinity for booze and cigarettes,” she snickers.

You feel the heat rising to your face. “Um, uh… Was I that bad at hiding it?” you stammer.

“Yep. You were giving him googly eyes at the barbecue and you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face anytime you hung out with him?” Wow, if you couldn’t be more obvious.

“Well, maybe Robert is my type but… I don’t think I was his.” You’re definitely not his type now that he thinks you probably slept with Joseph.

“Awe cheer up, Pops.” She pulls you into a hug. “You’re a catch and who knows? Maybe he’ll realize it too. And if he doesn’t then he’s the one missing out,” she assures.

“Thanks for the pep talk, Panda,” you squeeze her back. Right now you don’t have Amanda’s optimism, but maybe things will pan out for you. Instead of worrying about the things that happened today, you' just enjoy watching people getting splattered by bacon grease with your amazing daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit of an interlude until I figured out what direction I wanted to go with the story. Fortunately, I got out of my slump and hopefully you guys still liked this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miscommunication is a bitch

It’s been two weeks since the incident with Joseph and you’ve been trying your best to distract yourself from the whole ordeal. Amanda is about to graduate so you’ve been doing your fatherly duty by supporting her every step of the way. And by that, you’ve just been brewing coffee non-stop for her so she can stay up studying because it’s not like you remember much from high school anymore. Just like that things are starting to be like they used to be… Normal… That’s what you want, right?

“Father of mine, may I ask you a favor?"

“Yes, child of mine,” you answer.

“All this work to ensure my future is giving me a hankering for Mat’s banana bread. Can you go pick some up for us?”

“That ‘us’ sounds more like a ‘me’, but of course I will.”

“You’re the best, Pops,” she says giving you finger guns. She goes back to her room and you make your way out of the house to acquire the tasty treat.

The moment you step outside, you feel the early summer heat hit your skin and beads of sweat starting to form on your forehead. Maybe, you’ll grab an iced coffee while you’re there… Shit. Robert is out on the steps of his porch. You consider going back inside to wait him out but what kind of father would you be to deprive your child of banana-y goodness. Okay, deep breath. You were gonna cross him sooner or later. Just be casual. You don’t even have to acknowledge him but… he looks so worn out. You watch as he takes long drags of his cigarette. His hair looks like he just got out of bed and the bags under his eyes look particularly deep today.  He’s not wearing his leather jacket right now (considering it’s past ninety degrees) and he has the sleeves of his red shirt rolled up to his biceps. Damn, he has nice arms. 

He turns his head and your eyes meet… Fuck. You gulp and wait in anticipation for what’s to come. However, Robert simply goes back to staring aimlessly at nothing. Phew. This is great. This is your get of jail free card. So why the hell are you walking towards him? “Uh, hey,” you say, lips moving to their own fruition.

His eyes flick toward you, giving you a sort of half-assed glare. “…Hey,” he mumbles, taking another hit from his cigarette.

“Um…” You have no idea what you wanna say. “H-how’ve you been…?” Nailed it.

“Peachy,” he answers shortly. “And what did I tell you about small talk?”

“Uh, yeah I remember. It’s just… I wanted to know how you were doing…” The thought had already crossed your mind a few times during these past weeks.

Robert vaguely motions to himself. “Well as you can see, I’m alive. Besides… it’s not like you actually care,” he grumbles.

There’s that familiar sting again. “Robert… of course I care.”

“Save it, buddy. You can stop pretending,” he snaps and you wince at the tone. “What did Joseph finally blow you off? Is that it?” He furrows his eyebrow and this time he really is glaring. “You looking for some sort of consolation prize?” He says it with so much resentment. “Well I hate to say I told you so, but I did tell you what kind of person he was. You fell for the wrong guy, so don’t come here trying to gain brownie points with me.”

“Robert, this has nothing to do with Joseph! Besides nothing happened between me and him—“

Robert lifts himself off the porch and is towering over you. He narrows his dark eyes at you and grits, “Don’t. Just stop.”

You want to explain yourself. You want to tell him the truth. The words are burning on your lips but you can’t let them out as you feel yourself caving under his stare.

“You know what the difference between you and me?” he asks rhetorically. “ _I_ know I’m a piece of shit. I fucked a married man but I was willing to own up to it. _You,_ on the other hand, play the innocent card when in reality you’re no better,” he spits.

 “…Is that what you think?” You choke out through the lump in your throat.

“Yes,” he hisses. Your heart wrenches your chest. So that’s it… That’s what he thinks of you… You figured he would but you didn’t think it would _hurt_ so much.

“Okay…” You swallow. “If that’s how you feel, then there’s nothing left for me to say except… you’re right about one thing…”

“Oh and what’s that?” he scoffs.

“I did fall for the wrong guy but… it wasn’t Joseph…” you confess with a hitch in your voice.

That catches him off guard and his eyebrows unfurrow. He doesn’t even know how to respond to that and you don’t care if he does at this point.

“Goodbye, Robert…”  You turn around so he doesn’t see the hot tears welling in your eyes and you make your way down the street. When you know you’re far enough away you swipe the tears away. You feel so stupid and… _angry_. Angry at him for being so cold to you but mostly angry at yourself… because you wish you would have done things differently… It doesn’t matter now though… He thinks you’re “awful” and there’s no point in trying to convince him otherwise anymore.

You take a deep breath to calm yourself down. “It’s okay… It’s all going to be okay,” you tell yourself. Maybe not right away. This was the first time in a long that you allowed yourself to get your hopes up with someone. You know that the pain will linger but, eventually, it will subside. You reach the Coffee Spoon and you feel relieved. Pablo is the one who takes your order because Mat is taking the day off to spend time with Carmensita. This is good. Right now the only thing you need worry about is getting some Right Said Banana Bread and iced coffee. Not Robert. Not anything else.

“Hey sailor, fancy seeing you here.”


	5. Chapter 5

You seriously cannot have this much bad luck in one day. You turn around and sure enough, there’s Mary waiting behind you in line. She has her classic stink face on, but at least it doesn’t have the same animosity as the last time you saw her at the bar. “Yeah, I guess so,” you answer sheepishly.

She rolls her eyes at you. “Don’t sound so scared, kiddo. I’m not going to bite your head off… Well, not yet anyway,” she smirks. You gulp. “Do you got a minute to chat?”

You _really_ don’t want to, especially after the wonderful conversation you just had with Robert. Why would a conversation with Mary go any better? “Actually, I should probably get going. I promised Amanda I would get her some banana bread,” you tell her motioning to the bag.

“I’ll try to make it quick then. Besides, you kinda owe me,” she barters.

“I…” You realize there is no point in arguing with her. “Fine.”

“Lovely.” She pats you on the back gruffly. “Be a darling and grab us a seat outside, would ya?” she orders.

You do as you are told and wait for her to get her order as you nervously sip on your coffee. Mary sits down with you, holding an iced tea. Wow, this the first you’ve seen her with anything other than wine or whiskey shots. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Be honest with me… Did you sleep with my husband?” she asks bluntly.

You knew this was what the topic was going to be about, you just didn’t count on her being so straightforward about it. Then again, Mary is never one to beat around the bush. You look her straight on and answer as seriously as you can. “No, I didn’t,” you swear.

She looks at you analyzing your expression. She hums, “I figured you hadn’t. I just wanted to make sure and maybe make you squirm a bit.”

“Wait, what…? Did Joseph tell you?”

She laughs at that. “Joseph would have said that he hadn’t regardless. No, I figured it out all by my lonesome. Joseph came back home the next day after your guys’ yacht trip. Usually, it takes him about a week to come groveling back so I supposed that things didn’t go according to plan,” she snickers. You don’t understand how she can say this so normally. “So tell me, nerd. Did Robert have anything to do with you backing out? He told me you guys had a little talk before you sailed off.”

You cross your arms and frown slightly at her. “You know, it’s not like I was keen on the idea of participating in adultery, Mary. I do have some sense of morality, believe it or not,” you defend.

“Just trying to get the facts straight here. No need to get offended,” she sneers. “You haven’t answered my question though.”

You sigh, “Robert… was a factor in my decision… He made me realize the mess I was getting myself into and that…it wasn’t where I wanted to be.”

Mary sips at her drink thoughtfully and gives you a small nod, seemingly satisfied with your response. She starts, “You know, when Robert told me he went down to the dock, it surprised me. I thought at first it was just to spite Joseph for screwing him over but I know Rob has learned to stop giving a damn about him.”

“Wait,” you interject. “You know what happened between Robert and Joseph?”

“Yep,” she confirms.

“And…you’re still friends with Robert?”

“We’re friends because of it.” She shrugs, “He was the only one that apologized.”

“Oh…” That’s what Robert meant when he said he was willing to admit it.

“Anyways, I finally realized why he had bothered to warn you. I would have to break his arm to get him to admit it but… he didn’t want to see you get hurt because he had fallen for you,” she reasons.

That’s an amusing notion. You huff, “Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious,” she frowns.

“Well, he has a funny way of showing his ‘affection.’ He had ignored me for at least month before all of this and now he wants nothing to do with me. Unless he gets off on yelling at me, I doubt he feels anything for me.”

“What do you mean?” Mary raises an eyebrow at me.

“I saw him today and we got into a fight… I tried to explain to him that nothing happened but… he didn’t want to hear me out. So that’s that. There’s nothing more to be done”

Mary pinches the bridge of her nose and inhales. “That idiot,” she gripes. She looks you dead in the eye. “Listen, Robert has been through a lot and because of that he avoids getting close to anyone. But you were the only thing that seemed to make him happy... You were the first person that I ever saw him drone on about. Anytime he got too tipsy, you were always the topic of the conversation.”

“R-really…?” He would talk about you?

She nods. “I told him he was being a jackass for not reaching out to you but that man is stubborn to a fault… When I told him that you were hanging out with Joseph, it nearly gave him a stroke and just made him close himself off even more,” she sighs. “It doesn’t excuse his behavior in any way, I know that. But right now he’s hurt and I think he wants to push you away so it stops… Just know that he does care about you even if he’s terrible at showing it.”

You feel the lump in your throat starting to form again but you force it down. “Thank you, Mary, for telling me…” You admit, “I care about him too and although I wish we could have something more… it’s not up to me, is it? He’s gotta be the one to take the first step…”

“That he does…” she states. You both stay in silence for a while before Mary gets up from the chair and shoulders her purse. “Keep your chin up, sailor… I know it’s a lot to ask and I wouldn’t blame you if you did but… don’t lose hope in him, okay?”

You answer honestly, “I can’t make any promises…” You don’t want to get your hopes up just to end up disappointed again.

She nods slightly, understanding where you’re coming from. “Catch you around.” Before she leaves, Mary announces, “Thanks for not fucking my husband. You restored my faith in humanity just a smidge.”

You snort at that and feel some of the iced coffee trickle up your nose. “Glad I could help,” you cough.

Mary leaves with a smirk and gives you one last wave goodbye. Despite with what happened with Robert, you’re glad that you could at least clear the air with Mary. You look at your watch and realize that you’re going to have one hangry teenager at home if you don’t start heading back soon. You remember Mary’s words as you walk back. _“…don’t lose hope in him, okay?”_ You don’t want to… You want to believe that he does care about you, but you’re not sure if you can… He has to give a reason to make you believe that he does and… you’re sure that you’ll never get that reason.

You didn’t know how wrong you’d be…


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A resolution you desperately want

The moment you hear the consecutive dings, you feel like you’re going to pass out.

**Robert: hey**

**Robert: hey kid**

**Robert: jim & kim’s tonight**

**Robert: you in?**

You stare blankly at the computer screen. Is he serious? Did he really just message you out of the blue like nothing happened? Like he didn’t tear you a new one only a few days ago… That asshole.

You’re tempted to blow him off. All it would take is for you to type out, “Go to hell,” and that would be the end of it. You wouldn’t have to deal with his bullshit anymore… You would never have to listen to his dumb, made-up stories… Never have to see that stupid smile of his… Dammit. He might be an asshole, but… he’s reaching out at least. That should at least count for something.

With shaking hands, you write out, “Yeah, I guess.” You hit send and wait for his response.

**Robert: cool**

**Robert: be there @ 8 pm**

Can he ever just answer with just one message? Never mind that. You have bigger problems to deal with than Robert’s writing etiquette. For example, the fact that you actually have to face him again.

The hours roll by and you find yourself sitting at a booth in Jim and Kim’s, waiting for Robert to show up. You’re early, probably because you didn’t want to chicken out the last minute. Your palms are starting to sweat and your heart is thumping in your chest as the clock ticks closer to 8. Maybe you’re making a mistake. Maybe—

“Hey.” You jolt in your seat and watch as Robert slides into the booth across from you.

“Hey,” you gulp. There he is, right in front of you and… he actually looks better. Cleaner, even. His hair is combed through and he looks like he ironed his shirt for once. Before even thinking you blurt, “Did you take a shower just for me?” Oh, God. What a cringey thing to ask him!

He actually chuckles a little, though. “I’m working on my relationship with existence,” he answers. Robert waves to Neil and he brings us two whiskeys. We stay in silence for a while sipping our drinks. You know he likes silence but you figure this time it’s because neither of you knows what to say.

Surprisingly, Robert is the one that breaks the silent moment. “I’m sorry,” he sighs. “I’m sorry about everything…” He’s…actually apologizing to you. He nervously scratches his beard. “I didn’t really think past saying that…”

You see he’s backing himself into a corner. “Well… I’m here and I don’t plan on going anywhere so… just take your time,” you encourage.

“Right,” he mumbles. “For starters, I’m sorry for ignoring you when all you wanted to do was spend time with my sorry ass. And I’m sorry for yelling at you when all you were trying to do was check up on me. And I’m sorry that I didn’t _listen_ to you when you were just trying to tell me the truth.”

“So…you know now?”

Robert nods. “Mary explained to me what happened. Well, it was more like she lectured me. She came by the day after you guys talked…” You’re gonna have to hug that woman, although she might kill you if you try.

“Even though I’m glad she told me… I should’ve taken _your_ word for it.” He looks at me with dejected eyes. “It’s just that… I know Joseph. I know that when he has his eyes set on something, he’ll do whatever he can to get it. And he just had to choose you, didn’t he?” he huffs. “I tried not to care. I tried to look the other way, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t stand the thought of you being with him as selfish as that may sound... When I went to the marina, I wanted to warn you and… to tell you to come with me… To the bar, to the overlook, to the fucking laundromat. Anywhere as long as you were with me instead of him…”

You feel your stomach flutter and your heart ache. Only he can make you feel those things simultaneously. “Then why couldn’t you just tell me that, Robert?”

He tightens his grip a bit on his glass. “Because I let my anger get the better of me… Seeing you look for Joseph at the marina just made my blood boil because I knew… I thought I had no chance against him. Why would you listen to me, the drunk guy who takes you to grimy bars, over the clean-cut, church dad with a yacht? But I guess I was wrong… Should’ve figured you were a better person than me and wouldn’t go through with it… ” He takes a sip of his whiskey.

Does he really think so little of himself? “You know, I don’t think it’s about being a better person or not. I don’t know…maybe if the circumstances were different I would’ve fallen for Joseph’s little game. Who’s to say it wouldn’t have played out that way…” I give him a small smile, “Besides I had a handsome, brooding man knock some sense into me, so it’s not really fair to you to compare yourself to me…”

He rubs his face and sighs deeply. “How can you do that?”

“Do what?” you ask him.

“Give me the benefit of the doubt. You’re here after everything I said to you. After I accused you of being a bad person, you’re still giving me the time of day… Why?”

You’ve been asking yourself the same thing, but you know why. “…Because I know you’re more than the “drunk guy” in a grimy bar.”

Robert blinks at you, looking as if you just said the craziest thing ever. He tuts, “I thought you said you fell for the wrong guy?”

You huff a little laugh and shrug. “Granted you were a bit of an ass, there’s no denying it, but I’ve seen that there’s more to you than just a guy with the emotional capacity of a wooden plank… You’re so passionate about everything you love that you convinced a square like me to try Hawaiian pizza and whittling. I’m sure you could sell me on soap-making if that’s what you were into.”

“While I’ve never tried the art of soap-making, I wouldn’t mind giving it a try. You never know, maybe it’s a skill I would need during the impending zombie apocalypse. You could make a living out of it in a dying world,” he jokes, with a genuine smile finally on his face.

A laugh bubbles out of your throat. “You see what I’m saying. You’re wild and funny and… Robert Small, there’s more to you than meets the eye… I just wish you could see what I see,” you conclude.

He looks down at his whiskey glass with a somber expression. Robert starts, “I… I’ve made so many mistakes in my life that I don’t know if I could even _imagine_ what you see in me…”

“You know, people are allowed to make mistakes, Robert. They shouldn’t define who you are as long as you’re willing to make up for them… Asking me to come here was proof that you can.”

“Maybe…” he whispers. It breaks your heart to see him like this.

You reach over the booth and give his hand a reassuring squeeze. He finally looks at you, eyes a little wide. “Hey… I forgive you for everything but… I want you to forgive yourself too, okay?”

“I-I,” he stutters. “…Okay.” He puts his other hand over yours. “Can… can we start over?” he asks meekly.

You’re heart swells and you smile at him kindly. “Of course,” you answer. He gives you a relieved smile before you both let go of each other’s hand. “Before we move on officially from all of this, can I ask you something?”

“Uh, sure,” he says, raising an eyebrow at you.

“You going to the marina… was that inspired by the shitty rom-com we went to see?” you smirk.

Then right before your eyes, Robert “Badass” Small, actually starts to blush. “What?! Of course not!”

“Oh, really? I mean, it kinda seemed that way. Maple Bay isn’t New York but the marina is some walking distance so you must have sprinted to beat me there,” you tease.

“Shut up,” he grumbles.

He looks so cute all flustered.  “Awe, you look so cute all flustered. Yet another surprise from you, Robert. I didn’t peg you as a romantic—“

Before you can finish the sentence, Robert is sliding into the booth with you. He leans into you and cradles your face. Oh God, he’s so close your noses are touching and his lips nearly brush yours. You can smell the whiskey mixed with the cologne he’s wearing today and it makes an oddly wonderful combination. You can’t say anything… You can’t even focus when he’s this close to you. The moment seems drawn out, even if it’s probably only been a few seconds.

He pulls away, leaving you dizzy and your face searing. “Who’s flustered now?” he snickers, taking a swig from your drink.

You should be mad that he just wanted to get you riled up, but you’re not. You can’t be when he’s looking at you like that. “You… you really are something. You know that, right?”

“I guess so,” he grins.

“Well,” you say clearing your throat, “the night is young. Do you have any other plans for us tonight?”

“Hit some other bars, maybe grab some pizza.  I think that’ll kill some time before we go burn down that old abandoned house in the woods.”

“It’s definitely not as fun if it’s abandoned,” Mary says, popping from behind the booth. How long has she been there? She punches Robert lightly on the shoulder. “Where was my phone call?”

“Sorry, figured you were busy sinking your teeth into some poor sap.”

“I am. He’s right here,” she says motioning behind her. She eyes the two of you, a smug smile on her lips. “You replacing me with the new kid?”

“Mary, I could never replace you. Whether I wanted to or not. Besides, we’re gonna hit the bricks. You coming with?”

Mary shrugs her shoulders. “This place is dead anyway.” Mary goes ahead of us while Robert pays for the drinks.

As you slide out of the booth, you feel Robert intertwine his fingers with yours. “Ready to go?”

You look at your hands and then back at him. All you can manage to do is stupidly nod with a goofy smile on your face. You walk out together and he doesn’t even let go when you’re outside. Mary keeps her comments to herself when she sees you guys, but there’s a look of pride her eyes.

You notice a group of people gathered around someone who looks like Spinmaster Quinn. Actually, you realize it is Spinmaster Quinn holding a lantern for dramatic effect. “What’s going on?”

“Looks like it’s one of those walking ghost tours. They do that in this part of town all the time,” Mary responds.

“I’ve always wanted to do one of those,” Robert chimes.

“You know all those stories are fake, right?”

“Pretty much all of my stories are fake. This is research,” he laughs. He starts tugging you to follow. “Come on!”

“We can’t just crash it, can we?”

“Don’t be such a square, kid. Just act like you belong,” he says, nudging you playfully. “Show me your sense of adventure.” How can you say no to that?

“Okay,” you giggle. He pulls you along and Mary follows as you all sidle up to the group.

This is where you want to be… You know Robert has a lot of baggage. There are things that he still hasn’t shared with you that you can feel still haunt him. You’re signing yourself up for a bumpy ride with him. Hell, you’re not even a couple and it’s already been a journey. Despite all that, you’re willing to accept that challenge because you know, in your heart, he’s worth it even if he doesn’t believe it himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone who's stuck around with this stories and left kudos and comments <3 Always appreciate it!
> 
> *Announcement/Shameless Promotion* I already have a few chapters written for my next fic! As promised it is an Alex/Dadsona fic and I'll be posting the first chapter on Friday. It's called, "[ **It's all gonna be okay**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12430440)" so look out for it if you're interested.


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